Hi, Sorry for not having written. I am not doing very well. A lot of pain. My stomach is taking the brunt of it this time. It is a feeling of fullness (gassy), not nausea. It hurts and I can not sleep. Doc says it is just the chemicals working and nothing I can do. I am so weak that it is taking everything I have to keep this up. Blood counts remain low. Muscles and foot pain remain. I am pretty miserable and praying for it all to be over soon. It is so hard. Just one more treatment and I am not looking forward to it as I know what follows but then hopefully, I will have some respite. Please God that is true.
I took some pictures last time of folks at the clinic that do the infusions they are part of the treatment team. They are a good group of folks though limited in what they can do for really taking the accumulating pain away.
I miss not hearing from many of you. Miss your calls, cards, just miss knowing that you must be out there but don't hear ya breathing. Being alone (except for Bob) is the worst of it....no support system makes for a long treatment schedule. Please keep me in your prayers. I am just wanting to put this all behind me. Still have radiation to get through but I can't be as hard as for months of chemical invasion and loneliness that in the end you go through this alone.
7 comments:
Dear Pat - hang on in there, the nasty stuff will be over soon, and then you can concentrate on getting better. Chemo is foul, yes, but for me and many others radiotherapy was really easy. The first visit was awkward, as they did loads of measurements and gave me two tattooed dots (to help them line up the radiation later), but the other twentyfive were short and sweet. I had some nice aloe vera gel to help my skin stay soft, but I had no trouble with it at all. After all that, getting better is slow, but looking back each week you will see improvement.
You can do it, girl - you're younger and stronger than me and I did it!
Love,
Margery in the UK.
I am sorry you are having such a rough time, I think about you all the time. I feel bad I have been neglectful in commenting on your blog, I know how much it means to you. I hope this all will pass soon. I will be in Bend to visit my mom next week, Cathi has my cell phone number, if you want me to come over and give you a big hug, please call me, I think you live very close to my mom.
XXXOOO
Beth
Hi again, Pat. Oh, I am terribly sorry to hear that the pain and discomfort are even worse ... and sorrier yet to hear that you're feeling so isolated from everyone. I do hope that this last treatment will soon be behind you and you can begin the slow - but positive! - road to recovery. I AM thinking of you and will mail a card on my way to the food bank. Please don't feel alone - you are NOT!!
Sending love and hugs and positive energy.
Bummer that you feel so bad but help is on the way. Your kids and my kids will be there soon. Col called this morning from Starbucks on a caffine runto say their trip was uneventful. They arrived about the same time as Cathy. Rose called today to say that they wound up staying overnight in Ft Lauderdale, I think and hoped to be home by late this (Thurs.) afternoon. I will be away for a week in KY but will send a card from there. Hang in there. Mary
Dear Pat,
Keep relying on God to get you through the tough times. Even when we don't feel His presence, He is right there with you. Reading the psalms out loud until you find one that expresses just what you need to say, can help.
It's ok to tell God you don't like this part of your life and that you need Him to show you in a concrete way that He loves and cares for you. You will be surprised and blessed.
I've experienced these feelings, too ,through my husband's long illness.
Hang in there and know that many of us are up on those awful nights praying for you, for peace, comfort and the joy only the Lord can bring. Beth
Pat , you are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and take each day at a time and conquer it and somehow find enough strength to face the next.
Hi Pat,
Kerry from Tasmania, Australia here.
Pat, I read something on the weekend I would like you to hear. It was written to a couple who had lost their newborn son:
The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering.
..TO BE GREATER THAN OUR SUFFERING.
How powerful is this? What you are going through is transformational. I, like you, have had a gutful and can't wait for it to be over. But I focus on what God has planned for me for after it stops. I KNOW I will be transformed. Please hold this in your heart. Write out those words and know that I say them for you in the middle of those black nights when neither of us are sleeping. Peace comes.
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