6th Chemo Day

Well, June 10th was the last chemo. It went well enough. This time the docs gave me meds for the intense pain of the neuropathy in my foot and the muscles. But the meds they give you are steroid loaded. So, again for the next four days I had very little sleep, but the pain was less severe.

I was to take the meds for a week but about the 6th day, I just said I have to get off of this stuff as I was unable to sleep. I had started to taper off the 4th day to one a day but still little sleep came. Plus the pain pills they give when you taper off on the steroids made me miserable. My stomach was upset, I needed laxatives so that the pain in my gut would go away. So, I got through the first week.

Last night I had a decent night's sleep for the first time in a long while and today I was well enough to write a few words here. I wish I could tell you all was well and that I am not having any problems with this treatment but I am really struggling through it. Your prayers are essential on the nights when sleep will not come and I feel so alone. I know millions in the world go through the same thing. Many with worse outcomes than mine but when you are going through it in the middle of a long night it is so hard so very difficult.

But today with sleep and the sun shinning and the cool breezes blowing here this morning all is right with the world. I am still a bit weak as my red cell counts remain low but at least I feel almost human again. I only have a few weeks left til Cathi and the girls come. They will buoy my spirits and make things a bit more tolerable. Thanks again for cards and other gifts that come periodically. Do not forget me. Keep the prayers coming. Have a good summer day.

5th Chemo

I had my 5Th Chemo on May 29Th a Tuesday. My doc reviewed my numbers and they were okay except for my red blood cell count which is getting dangerously low. I am now anemic. My number was 8 which makes me pretty low. If the number drops a drip more, I will need a transfusion. This will delay the chemo sessions. I am trying this week to make myself eat more red meat to get the blood count up. So far , I am doing okay. Eating more red meat than I have eaten in one week for years. I hope it works.

The taxol treatment was okay. They watch you closely for the first hour or so if there are any complications (like a dangerous drop in blood pressure) they will take place in the first hour. I got through the 5 hour drip okay. I got home and was okay. Til the next afternoon when the pain started. It seemed like all the muscles groups were aching. The pain was pretty severe. It also causes neuropathy in your hands and feet which I had in very painful proportions on a scale of 1-10 it was a `10 + for the next 3 days. I called the doc on Weds (the on call doc for the practice) and they finally sent me some meds the next day. I got a total of 8 hours sleep over the next 3 nights as my feet would not stop hurting. Since I have some neuropathy for the last 10 years this just added to it in a big way.

The muscle pains stopped with the meds but foot pain did not stop until Sunday night. So it looks like if there is a side effect I have a propensity to acquired it. Today my feet are almost back to normal. I know that Taxol had these possibilities but I never thought the pain would be so severe. I go back to doc tomorrow for blood tests to see if the red cell count is up and to check on my eye infection which seems to be clearing up okay.

I am trying to hang on and to decide if we should continue with the taxol treatments or go to another drug that is similar but not really tested on a long term basis. If I can put up with 3-4 days of pain I can deal with it but if it becomes progressively worse I am not sure I can deal with that level of pain for long periods of time. It wore me out. I did sleep Sunday night so I am able to function today. Thank God for that. Today, I have stopped taking all meds as I am pretty much back to normal.

I am still receiving all kinds of cards from so many places and they all have been placed around the bedroom. I am taking great strength from them and the prayers and well wishes within them. I know when I look at them , all of you are praying for me and that is such a wonderful thing to know. So thank you for all cards and thoughts. It means so very much to me.

It is already June. I have a friend from Maryland who is visiting with her family in Seattle coming for a day this week. Next month Cathi comes and will be here through August with the girls. Then other Maryland friends and family from Missouri will come over September and October so I will have some company and that should help give me more strength and support.

So, I just have to try to get myself through the next 3 chemos and the radiation treatments. I just trying to do it day by day. It is a long struggle but one I am going to get through and find healing on the other side.

Keep the prayers coming. I am great need of them as the dark hours I must still go through can only be gotten through on the strength of prayer. God bless you all.