Last Chemo July 7th 2008

The 2nd course of chemo with Taxol was more painful than I thought it would be. I have severe neuropathy in my feet and hands. The top 1/3 of my finger tips are numb so if I make a lot of typos you will know why. I have no taste buds left....everything has a chemical taste. Ugh. I hope it goes away soon. I am hungry and loaded with steroids which are making my blood sugar pretty unstable and makes your hungry but stuff taste like crap so ....

I have finished with all 8 chemos. I go tomorrow for a CT Scan and to start the mapping for radiation. I am still pretty weak but I need to press on with what I have to do.

Cathi and the girls have been here for awhile. The girls ( 51/2 and 4) are darling. They wear me out but they are so innocent and so much fun to listen too. Sometimes I just lay on the sofa and hear them make up their pretend games. They are princesses, fairies, pirates, angels....it is so cute. I have tried to do a bit with them. Bob and I took them to MC Donalds where they have an in door play yard. And we did go up to Sisters...a town 20 miles away for the quilt show where Cathi entered a quilt. Those two days wore me out. My 2 nieces and my grand niece where here too for a few days along with Bobby. So we had a full house which further wore me out but was fun having them here and listening to their adventures (they went rafting and took some side trips here). Aine and Aisling loved having them here too. They took too them and cried when they left.

Our next door neighbors graciously left us the keys to their house ( they live in Lake Tahoe most of the year) and security code so the girls and Bobby stayed there at night and spent evenings here playing Wii and dominoes. The girls and Cathi went to story time at the library and MCDs today with Bob and Cathi So thought I would write.

I am a bit scared about the next step CT and mapping for radiation. I sure wish it were all over. I am so tired and weak and just want some normalcy back but guess it will be a while for that to all return. In the meanwhile, pray that all went well and that I will be on my way to recovery when it is all over. I have 6 weeks of radiation coming up shortly (everyday for 5 days) Then hopefully, it will be over and my body can start recovering.

I miss you all. I miss hearing from some of you but understand how life is for most of us....busy and filled with other worries.

Keep me in your prayers. Love, Pat

Chemo 7 24th June 2008

Hi, Sorry for not having written. I am not doing very well. A lot of pain. My stomach is taking the brunt of it this time. It is a feeling of fullness (gassy), not nausea. It hurts and I can not sleep. Doc says it is just the chemicals working and nothing I can do. I am so weak that it is taking everything I have to keep this up. Blood counts remain low. Muscles and foot pain remain. I am pretty miserable and praying for it all to be over soon. It is so hard. Just one more treatment and I am not looking forward to it as I know what follows but then hopefully, I will have some respite. Please God that is true.

I took some pictures last time of folks at the clinic that do the infusions they are part of the treatment team. They are a good group of folks though limited in what they can do for really taking the accumulating pain away.

I miss not hearing from many of you. Miss your calls, cards, just miss knowing that you must be out there but don't hear ya breathing. Being alone (except for Bob) is the worst of it....no support system makes for a long treatment schedule. Please keep me in your prayers. I am just wanting to put this all behind me. Still have radiation to get through but I can't be as hard as for months of chemical invasion and loneliness that in the end you go through this alone.